Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted; now nobody ever talks to you or acknowledges your existence, ever.

I wish the upcoming JoJo's Bizarre Adventure part 5 anime would stick with a female voice actor for Narancia. It's been that way since 2002; giving him a male voice actor just... wouldn't feel right.

Granted. You cough up coins every hour for the rest of your life.

I wish for a set of 256 never-before-seen tilesets for use in Knytt Stories.

Granted. They are shitty re-colours of the existing tilesets. But hey, you've never seen them before.

I wish for a satisfying meal.

Granted. You come to a restaurant. You are asked to sit next to the table of a happy couple. You watch them eat and hear how satisfying the meal is they want. When the waiter comes to you, you decide to be honest and tell him you don't actually have money. The waiter throws you out without food. But that meal that couple had, it was a satisfying meal.

I wish I had the ability to teleport anywhere anytime without restrictions.

Granted! In order to activate your power you have to recite pi to fifty digits. Under your breath is fine. Oh, and every time you use the power there is a 1 in 10,000 chance of you instead being sent to the surface of Venus.

I wish I had a magic item that boosted my willpower.

Granted. You now act purely on impulse. You move to Alabama and get a job as a travelling air conditioner repairman, just because you can.

I wish Knytt Stories came with 255 songs by default.

Granted. Each song is a copy of Das Fluffmuffelgebrüggenmüskinegedanken with pitch and tempo shifted randomly (and often only slightly) to distinguish each one. The worst part is, since they are Songs, as opposed to Ambiance, they don't even loop.

I wish to be paid $16 per hour to play Minecraft.

You are now a teaching assistant at a primary school. The collapse of the economy (due to, I don't know, Trump, Brexit, North Korea and an asteroid or something) means that $16 per hour is well below a living wage but hey, you're just a TA. And you get to spend part of your week nannying ~30 ten-year-olds in Minecraft. On Creative mode, obviously.

I wish for a decent calculator to use at work. The one I have is so bad that it's even worse than the Windows calculator.

Granted. You get a scientific calculator that you can even install games on. Of course, the first thing you do is install doom on it. When you play a game, your boss finds out and takes the calculator from you so he can play doom on it. At least the calculator is at the office.

I wish the new traffic rules that will happen in my city next week will be undone as they are really ridiculous and no one but a handful of people actually agree with them.

Granted. Your city's traffic rules are rewritten once again. From henceforth, no motorized vehicles, non-motorized vehicles, pedestrians, or any sort of human presence whatsoever shall be allowed on the roads. You are now confined to your city block, and must use animals to cross the roads for you and fetch the things you need. I hope you trained your pets well.

I wish to one day find that bird.

Granted. A split second before you collapse dead in your wheelchair at the age of 98, you catch a glimpse of it off in the distance.

Granted. You explode from diabetes.

I wish I could remember the awesome wish idea I came up with just after posting my last wish.

Granted, but you can't think of a good corruption for the wish in this thread's latest post.

I wish Talps didn't respond to Fubaka's wish to be paid $16/hour to play Minecraft. I thought of a (in my opinion) really good corruption for that one.
(I would've given him some totally unrelated job and have him be paid the equivalent of $16 per hour in some made-up currency that can only be used to pay for the equipment, electricity, etc. required for him to play Minecraft specifically.)

Granted. Of course, this causes a "butterfly of doom"-type event, and Talps' decision to take a walk outside rather than check the Nifforum ends up making Nifflas switch over to the mobile match-three game industry. Somehow.

I wish for less wishes.

Granted. There is now one less wish in the world, which is the one you just made. Now there are more wishes as a result.

I wish for one blue rupee.