Corrupt-a-Wish

(Also, congratulations )

Thanks, but I found out that the company cheated on me (the job advertisement was something like "we're searching for an administration assistant........" and during an interview they offered me some kind of job as really weird insurance agent instead of it with no employment contract) so I run away. So I have no job again .

Granted, but police found fake license plate on your car.

I wish the never ending job search would stop once and for all (or I will go insane soon).

Granted. You are magically transported to an ancient era where there's no civilization and you must hunt your own food. Also, no Internet available.

I wish I could climb walls like a Knytt.

You can! But unfortunately you are soon eaten by a giant head that pops out of the ground.

I wish that all of the computer systems I have to use at work will be working optimally today; usually at least one has an irritating quirk to slow me down.

Granted, overnight they transform to work so optimally that they no longer need a user. Your boss finds out and fires everyone as he only needs that amazing computer system.

I wish for the weather to always be nice when I'm outside and only rain when I'm inside instead of the other way around.

Granted. You're trapped inside the big globe similar to this made of glass. You're inside when it's raining and you're outside (someone smashed that globe) when not.

I wish The Gift was already released on DVD in Czech Republic.

Granted, but it's one of those releases full of unskippable, annoying anti-piracy ads and really long trailers for other movies you don't care about.

I wish I had a bag of Milky Ways.

Granted. Your gut feeling tells you to go to the park. You arrive there and you find a bag of Milky Ways, unopened, untouched. You grab it but you find out the bag is very hot because apparently it layed in the sun for the full day and it sort of feels different than usual. You decide to squeeze in the bag and your suspicions are confirmed. All chocolate has melted. But hey! You got yourself a bag of Milky Ways!

I wish I had a 3 month vacation and a card that would allow me to use any form of public transportation to go anywhere I want. Public transportation includes: bus, taxi, train, airplane, ferry, cruise ship, and everything else you can think of. I guess a space ship could be included, but I don't see myself making a space trip in 3 months time.

Granted. The card takes a year off your life every time you use it. Also, your wallet feels suspiciously lighter after using the card too. Odd, that.

I wish for a Darth Vader mask.

Granted. You wake up with a Darth Vader mask superglued to your face.

I wish I had the willpower to resist being hypnotised.

You have +20 to will saves to resist being hypnotised. However, no one ever actually tries to hypnotise you so the ability never actually comes in useful.

I wish I found programming KS levels as effortless as speaking.

Granted. You forget almost all your vocabulary. Now you find speaking just as effortless as making good KS levels: that is, 0% effortless and incredibly time consuming.

I wish cooked food would magically appear in my kitchen whenever I'm hungry.

Granted, but your dog is faster.

I wish for more themes for this site.

Granted, the site gets 20 new themes, but they all sport poorly mixed bright colors and graphics made in MSPaint (using only the spray tool).

I wish for a tool to convert KS levels into Minecraft worlds.

You have two hands and a brain. Job done.

I wish my friend's seriously bad knee was better.

Granted. Your friend's bad knee is better. This time it's YOU who is suffering from that problem.

I wish actor Alan Rickman didn't die.