Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but (like with and for the same reasons as Icarus) you can't fly too close to the sun.

I wish the userbar in my signature would display correctly.

Granted, but only a half is displayed.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

You now own a submarine, which you can use to breathe whilst underwater.
I know it's still pretty cool but it's not what you asked for!

I wish it was next week now.

Granted. You are transformed into a single photon. From your subjective point of view, all times are the same time. (You don't have a subjective point of view, but you would if photons were conscious.) (This is true of all particles travelling at exactly c; an observer riding on a photon would also perceive the photon to be in all the places it ever goes to simultaneously. Remember, children: physics isn't weird, you are.)

I wish people donated to charity in the most efficient way possible. (Go look at Givewell and Giving What We Can; the difference between useful charities and less useful ones is frequently orders of magnitude, and some charities are actively harmful.)

Granted; everyone donates to said harmful charities in the most efficient way possible.

I wish i didn't link to this picture in that one Skype conversation. That was a stupid idea.

Granted. Something better is there, but it's a invisible virus.

I wish I could look after retriever and house with garden which I saw at advertisement. (unfortunately it's far away from where I live)

Granted.  Then an extremely localized earthquake happens, completely ruining the house and only that house.

I wish for more great music in the world.

Granted, but it forces you to think, rather than simply allowing you to.
I bet you saw that coming from a mile away.

I wish this project (an attempt to revive SMBX) won't fail at all.

Granted. The project is completely right, but not for long.

I wish the protagonist of my favorite book would fall in love with her ally.

She does, but the unexpected romantic subplot derails the plot and causes the book to end in tragedy.
(What's the book, out of interest?)

I wish I could come up with some really strong ideas from the story I'm currently feeling inspired to write.

Granted. Your plot bunnies now exclaim incessantly about the Power of Youth. YOSH!

I wish I could think of a way to finish the story about Juni I'm writing.

Granted. You think of a many nice way to finish it, but it is not good for your poor head - it is overloaded and hurts as hell.
(for Talps: the Cassandra Palmer series (it is hard to explain so therefore this link).

I wish for some delicious food and drink.

Granted, but they're the size of those ridiculously tiny portions you get at expensive restaurants. They're also the only known instance of the most delicious food in existence, so you'll never get them again and you'll yearn for them the rest of your life. Also, they're poison because why not.

I wish i was able to survive meeting a Holder and could get their object. Preferrably an object that actually does something useful.

Granted.  The item in question is a bag of powdered plutonium dust, flavored and colored to resemble common cayenne pepper.  It could be useful for poisoning that guy who made fun of your KS level that one time, but, not having been told the true nature of the 'spice', you use it in your own dish and get cancer a year later in 23 different parts of your body.  Even as you lay on your deathbed in the hospital, you recall that the dust just hit the spot in that dish you made, so it's not ALL bad.

I wish to find the remains of the doomed city of Sarnath.

Granted. You are possessed by the evil spirit which dwells in the city.

I wish heaven and hell were real places.