Corrupt-a-Wish

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Offline Talps

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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1815 on: January 01, 2014, 11:53:38 »
You arrive, but when you get off the plane it's covered in gigantic spiders!

I wish you all a happy new year! (I'm so laaaaaame!)

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Offline LPChip

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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1816 on: January 01, 2014, 14:13:05 »
Granted. You decide to steal a belated christmas present for a family member, but you get caught. You are being sent to court for no apparent reason. The judge has a good sense of humor and sees that you wanted to do a good deed. He still has to punish you though, so the judge decides to contact the administratof of this forum (me). He requests to send him a list of all the ip adresses so he can look up the addresses of everyone who is a member. Your sentence is to visit each and every member to wish them a happy new year, but you have to pay for the trips yourself.

So wish granted, literally ;)

I wish there was no such thing as being poor, meaning that no one has too little money.
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1817 on: January 01, 2014, 15:06:42 »
Granted, but people complain about not being rich rather than about being poor.

I wish i dreamt about Mt. Fuji, a hawk, and an eggplant last night.

Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1818 on: January 01, 2014, 15:48:07 »
Granted. For the rest of your life you dream of nothing else.

I wish the holiday was longer.
I've never meta pun I didn't like.

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Offline CWolvie

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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1819 on: January 01, 2014, 19:17:30 »
Granted. The holidays are a one day longer.

I wish for everything I want.
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“Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains.” ~ Khalil Gibran

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Offline Kasran

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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1820 on: January 02, 2014, 01:12:24 »
Granted. Then you think of something else you want, but... now you don't have a wish.

I wish I owned Juni's umbrella.
grao!

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Offline Healy

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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1821 on: January 02, 2014, 01:17:44 »
Granted, but it is far too tiny to actually use, and you cut yourself on the jagged pixels.

I wish I could write better wishes. (Case in point: Have I already wished for this one?)

Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1822 on: January 02, 2014, 11:28:38 »
(Case in point: Have I already wished for this one?)
A quick search for "better wishes" says you only wished to be able to make better wishes once. Jetio4, however, did it twice.

Granted. You can write better wishes. You can't type better wishes, though.

I wish my theory that The Stanley Parable takes place at Aperture Science was true and canon.

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Offline Talps

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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1823 on: January 02, 2014, 15:00:53 »
It is, only because 'The Stanley Parable' is non-canon, this actually makes 'Portal' non-canon. And now Chell will never save us from the Combine and it's all your fault!


I had to google 'The Stanley Parable' before answering this; I wish I hadn't had to, because it looks really shiny - in other words, I retroactively wish that I had played 'The Stanley Parable'.

Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1824 on: January 02, 2014, 18:39:33 »
Granted. You knew all about it your entire life. Because of that, you didn't enjoy finally playing it as much as you would have if you hadn't wished for this, because you knew all the spoilery stuff beforehand. And with you knowing that the game will be made before it is made, it also leads to a few time paradoxes.

I wish we would just stop talking about Charles Dickens tap-dancing while naked or blogs on the history of oranges, and just continue discussing self-inserts and the idea of not having the map be magenta.
If you think this lacks context, wait until i change my signature.

Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1825 on: January 03, 2014, 22:00:03 »
Granted. The concepts of Charles Dickens, tap dancing, nudity and oranges are forever erased from human minds. No one can imagine being naked. No one can be consciously aware of an orange - some trees behave as though they have fruit on the branches, but the fruit can't be looked at. It behaves like a blind spot. Watching Shirley Temple films results in mysterious gaps in peoples memories, but only when they can both hear and see; when only one sense is involved, that sense is subject to failure, with blind spots and noises that cannot be consciously perceived. Naked people are invisible and inaudible, and suffer complete mental shutdown when they become aware of their own nudity. Newborn babies can only survive if strong-willed people can set up robotic carers before forgetting the child's existence; they invariably die upon understanding what clothes are. Humanity falls into ruin.

I wish I could magically absorb, understand and remember the content of any physical book as though I had read it slowly and carefully. The ability would activate at will, would work on and only on touched physical books, and would take one second per hundred A4 pages.
I've never meta pun I didn't like.

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Offline Healy

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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1826 on: January 04, 2014, 03:12:23 »
Granted. However, the ability erases everything that was in that book, or any other copy of it anywhere. Pretty soon you have deleted entire classics out of existence, and everybody is steaming mad at you for it.

I wish more people used the phrase steaming mad.

Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1827 on: January 04, 2014, 19:48:34 »
Granted. Everyone within a 100m radius of you can say only "steaming mad" with different intonations.

I wish I were immune to feelings of excessive or insufficient body heat.
I've never meta pun I didn't like.

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Offline Kasran

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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1828 on: January 04, 2014, 21:04:16 »
Granted. Your lack of bodily feedback regarding temperature results in the most bizarre hypothermia hospitalization your local clinic has ever seen.

I wish the Kickstarter projects I've funded would release sooner with no loss in product quality.
grao!

Re: Corrupt-a-Wish
« Reply #1829 on: January 05, 2014, 14:50:44 »
Granted. There's no loss in product quality, because the product quality stays exactly the same as it is with the products being unfinished. Also, the products are unfinished.

I wish my brother's YouTube channel would get at least 5 additional subscribers.