Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but only in an archaic language spoke by the people of Antarctica so no one else thinks it is anyway

I wish my wish would come true

Granted, but that wasn't a very exciting wish.

I wish I knew what the next person would wish for.

it comes true and you know that my next wish will be: i wish that cave story ds is finished.
But because i know this, i change my wish causing a paradox

i wish that knytt stories ds is finished Xp

...and it is but it is super buggy and you can't get it to work. (apologies to rrc2soft )

I wish I had the power to bend spoons with my mind.

Granted.  Now Ash Ketchum won't stop bugging you and asking how to do it.

I wish I had a 1TB (that's 1024 GB) USB flash drive.

granted, but i ate it. tastes like memories.
and 1tb actually = 1000gb.

i wish i could summon Chuck Norris on command to do my bidding.

granted. but every time you summon him he roundhouse kicks you in the jaw. you pretty much asked for that 

i wish i could get a new 2 bedroom apartment.

Granted, but the room is horribly filthy, torn apart, and has previously been set on fire.

I wish NightSky was for PC as well.

Granted, but due to some weird error the PC version will ruin your system.

I wish that I could draw really well.

Well you can, so the wish is invalid 

i wish that i wasnt so depresed

Granted.  Your drawings became so realistic that the next time you drew a dragon, it came out of the page and ate your car.
Granted. You're so elated that you can't feel pain any more and are not aware of the sizzling hot plate under your feet.

I wish 1TB actually was 1000GB (and 1 GB = 1000 MB and 1 MB=1000 KB and 1 KB= 1000 B), because then the metric prefixes would make sense.  >.>

Granted. Now with all technical things being so specifically exact it is required to have a signed affidavit from each of your fingers before you may turn on your computer.

I wish unicorns were real.

Granted. They come to you each night in your sleep and eat your face off. Then, you are reborn the next morning.

I wish for a world without the colour yellow.

Granted. They come to you each night in your sleep and eat your face off. Then, you are reborn the next morning.

I wish for a world without the colour yellow.

Granted, but "colour" is spelled "color" everywhere now. (I find it weird how only the U.S. spells it without the "u".)
I wish for pants.

granted, but they are on fire. (liar.)
i wish to be the world's best guitarist.