Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, your legs have become arms. You no longer can walk.

I wish for a trash can that is never full.

Granted: Your trashcan is now a tardis. Unfortunately that tardis is owned by The Master and he doesn't like you throwing trash in his tardis.

I wish I owned a tardis, one that only ever belonged to me.

Granted. Your tardis belongs to you but is very jealous so you can't be with someone or something else than that tardis thing.

I wish I could create a portal to another dimension to escape from everything.

Granted, but out of all possible dimensions you never pick one that has oxygen.

I wish i was great at level design.

Granted, your creativity and insight surge exponentially... but it doesn't matter. You're so extremely lazy you don't do anything with it.

I wish the next person would make a wish for me.

Granted. You wish for nothing and you get it.
I wish I could travel in time and buy some land and pieces of art that will be really valuable in present.

Granted. You go pack in time buy some land and art that will one day be valuable. When you return to the present you no longer have the land because you were presumed dead after you returned and had no heirs so the land was taken by the government. Sense there was no evidence that the paintings existed and they are still technically new (they haven't aged) the authorities believe they are forgeries and you end up in jail.

I wish for a cookie.

Granted. Your Internet browser is overfilled with it and will be shut down.

I wish I was rich.

 

Granted. You're now a male called Richard. (Rich for short).

I wish I could control time (not time travel, but just change time for everything and everyone around me, me included).

Granted. You slow down time to a near stop so you can get to work on time. Be cause time for the air around you is so slow you are unable to move through it or breath it. You speed time up to try and get time back to normal but you speed it up too much, now everything around you including the motion of the air is a thousand time faster than normal. You can never get time to move at the right speed so you eventually ether suffocate or you are killed by the motions of the things around you.

I wish I could greatly and slightly control my mass with out changing size and with absolute precision.

Granted, but if you decide to be dense, you do indeed become dense.

I wish we knew what raocow looked like IRL.

Granted. Unfortunately his appearance has been classified top secrete. After learning Raocows true appearance and identity tou are assassinated by a Canadian special forces team.

I wish I had the power to resurrect my self in the body of the 30 year old me anywhere in the world when I die.

Granted. At the age of 30, you take a holiday to some far country. You go there by plane. In the air, the plane gets a double engine failure and is forced to crashland. Unfortunately at impact you die immediately. As per wish, you get a near-death experience but do not actually die. Well you did die but you get resurrected in your body that is now damaged by the planecrash. Unfortunately your body has taken extensive damage and on the way to the hospital, you die again.


I wish I could get a year off from work as a holiday, but get paid for that year regardless.

Granted. During that year, your employer finds someone who can do your job for less money, so you won't get your job back.
I wish for fresh cherries.

Granted. You just received a shampoo.

I wish I wasn't ill.