Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but a hostile alien race finds out that they can now easily conquer Earth because you made it all peaceful and stuff.

I wish i knew what i keep doing wrong when trying to install Minecraft mods.

Granted. You now know what you keep doing wrong in minecraft, but your computer's hard-drive dies out before you can do anything!

I wish I could shape shift  into anything anytime I wanted to, without pain or any minor side-effects.

Granted. When you take on an objects shape you also have that objects limitations. If you take the form of a cat you have the mind of a cat making you unable to comprehend enough to change shape again. If you take the shape of an inanimate object you'll have no mind at all.

I wish I knew real magic.

I have removed 3 posts because Polana was not replying to the latest post, but the last post from page 93.

Granted. You accidentally transform your entire family into flies and as they fly away you'll never see your family members again.

I wish I could lose weight.

Granted; you lose around 5 kg by being decapitated.

I wish i was awesome at video editing.

Granted. You're very good at editing videos, but no one wants to watch them.

I wish I knew a lot of langues.

Granted. You take a tour to a far country with lots of jungles and stuff. You go there on a trip to discover a new tribe no one heard of before. They call themselves the Lang. And as you get to know all of the tribe members, you now know a lot of Langues. Since no one heard of this tribe and you forgot your camera, no one actually believes you and claim you for a liar.
If you ment languages, say so next time.

I wish I could speak every language there is on earth.

Granted. You now know every language that has ever existed. In order give you this knowledge I had to delete some of your memory. Don't worry it wasn't important information, just your name, where you live, your parents, basic math, reading, writing, walking, going to the bathroom, programing and how to make Knytt Stories levels.

I wish all my laundry was done.

Granted. All colors are mixed together including white and black.

I wish to give my sister and niece some Easter eggs. (because we don't have any)

Granted; you now have enough programming skills to hack whatever video games they play to have more pointless secrets in them.

I wish i couldn't die unless i wanted to.

Granted. As bonus, I force you into wanting to die.

I wish I had a mobile energy forcefield that I can activate and deactivate on will. The energyshield can be used to protect me from any kind of damage, including things as bullets/projectiles fired towards me, explosions that could kill me, but also things like when someone punches you. It can also protect me from stuff like falling damage (so if I move into a stationairy object, it is counted the same as if I was standing still and that object moved towards me)

please think carefully before corrupting this one. If it for instance malfunctions I can no longer activate it or deactivate it on will. I can think of some nice ways to sabotage this, so don't give me some simple way.

Granted. And then suddenly someone decides to throw you into a seemingly bottomless pit where you die of starvation.

I wish i had every SMBX episode that's worth playing.

Granted. One episode is has a virus that infects and secretly takeover your computer. The virus downloads large amounts of disgusting, immoral and illegal porn. The police have a trap site with illegal porn, it is one of the sites that the virus downloaded  porn from. The police get you IP, contact your ISP, get you address arrest you and seize your computer on which they find gigabytes of disgusting, immoral and illegal porn. You get a lucky break and manage to get away; you spend the rest of your life on the run looking for the man who wrote the virus who turns out to be a 10 year old neglected child who made the virus for attention.

I wish I was a CEO of a major game developer.

Granted, you are CEO of EA. But since people are hating your games because you put DRM and DLC's on them, your games soon stop getting bought, and EA closes permanently.

I wish to be Gordon Freeman. (Star for the one who knows this guy )