Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. However, you can't fly with them, because you can't afford all that gasoline.
I wish I could easily use objects and enemies from Knytt in KS.

Gramted. You hack KS making it able to use objects and enemies from Knytt but in hacking teh game you break and it crashes any computer it runs on upon opening.

I wish I had a illudium q-36 explosive space modulator so I could threaten the world and for people to give me  the respect and love I deserve!

You have corrupted your own wish. No way people will respect and love a terrorist. So as soon as you start your demand, an elite team assassinates you.

I wish for fish.

Granted. A giant shark crashes through your roof.


 

I wish I for cake.

Granted. It's made of skin tissue.

I wish for a little goblin.

Granted. The goblin feeds of your emotions leaving you in an emotionless state, never like, love, fear, hate, or enjoy anything ever again.

I wish I was a mad scientist.

Granted. Before you can carry out your evil plan, you end in insane asylum.
I wish for small cute little kitten.

Granted. It grows into an enormous Bengal tiger and eats everyone you know. And then you.

I wish I had a friendly robot made of Meccano that serviced my every whim.

Granted. The Meccano turns out to be a T-1,000 sent back in time by Skynet to spy on you but ithad mistaken you for someone else and kills you.

I wish for 10,000 free wishes.

Granted. In order to do this, you have to pay for a subscription. The subscription is 10.000 euro a month for 10.000 wishes, but the first month you get 20.000 wishes.

I wish I had wine working on my linux server.

Granted. You spill a vintage $400 bottle of magic wine that grants you corruption free wishes on the server.

I wish I had teh power to delete stupid internet memes from existence.

Granted, but it turns out stupid internet memes are built into the very foundation of the internet itself. Therefore, to destroy the memes means to destroy... the internet! (Dun dun dun!)

I wish all the blogs I followed updated more often.

Granted. They now update every second and if you don't read 60 blog posts per minute a bomb will blow up a buss with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock on it... Stop reading the blog posts! Please for the future of film stop reading the blog posts!

I wish I could have change for a dollar.

Granted. The first hundred dollars in your bank account are revalued to one cent apiece. Enjoy your change, now give me my dollar.

I wish I could have positive societal change for a dollar.

Granted. Everyone in society is now positively electrically charges by 10,000 volts. If any one touches anything conductive they'll die.

I wish to conquer the world,
Expose the culprits and feed them to the children,
I'll do away with air pollution and then all save the whales,
We'll have peace on earth and global communion.
I want to conquer the world! 
I want to conquer the world! 
I want to conquer the world! 
I want to conquer the world!