Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. They want your partner/friend/someone you like to pay for it. You don't know about it and you are writing for more and more things, so you get him/her into serious troubles.
I wish for not snowing outside and for spring finally begin.

Granted.  Spring is here! But the remaining snow is covering your house! And by the time it melts down, Spring will be over, and winter will be back! 

I wish I could fly with the Blue-Angels.

Granted, but you don't know how to pilot that thing and suddenly a high rock appears and you crash into it.

I wish for a boyfriend who loves Knytt Stories too.

Granted, but they love Knytt Stories more than you.

I wish for a new computer mouse. I don't don't want the animal either.

Granted. You buy a mouse from a yard sale. The mouse is possessed by a demon who then posses your computer and though your WAN possesses your entire house. The demon imprisons you in the house, deprives you of food and torments you until you snap and go insane. The demon then posses you and makes you do a ritual with summons more demons into the world. The demons which possess all your stuff. You then have a yard sale.

Edit: didn't write a wish. I.. um... wish I... um... wrote a wish.

Granted. You have retroactively wished for a djinn to grant your wishes, except it turns out the djinn is a malicious efreet who twists your wishes to make you suffer.

I wish I hadn't just granted that extravagant wish.

Granted. But the reversal of the wish-granting paradigm undermines the closed reality of the thread, undoing all the granted wishes right back to the first one. Unfortunately reality is pre-deterministic, so the exact same chain of wishes and grantings plays out all over again, until your wish reverses it, but then it plays out again, until you reverse it... plays... reverses...

I wish for a window universe to open up that branches off along a new path.

Granted, but you'll never get to see it, or even notice it.

I wish I was a master animator.

Granted. You are a master animator of the dead. You use necromantic powers to animate the dead who then turn on you and eat you alive.

I wish I had necromantic powers.

Granted, but you use your new powers to animate the dead who then turn on you and eat you alive.

I wish for all shipping expenses to be free, and for shipping to be instantaneous.

Granted. A new device called "the teleporter" has been invented. Because shipping now goes instant and people can just buy one so they can ship the goods themselves, its for free too. So instant shipping and no costs to get the shipment delivered. Unfortunately, some thiefs break into your home, bring a teleporter with them and ship out your entire inventory. When they are about to ship out the last item, you come home and find them. They're not amused by your presence and decide to quickly grab you and transport you to a far uninhabited island. Not only did you lose your inventory, you sort of lost your home too.


I wish for motivation to do the tasks I need to do.

Granted. There is huge troll with larrup, who motivates you now.
I wish for another cup of tea.

Granted. In your cup of tea there is a poison which was given by someone who wants you dead.

I wish for dog Golden Retriever.

Granted. But because you don't get anything for nothing, there's a catch. The dog likes everyone except you. He'll even start to growl at you while being the cutest and sweetest dog to anyone else.
Even though you now don't want the dog anymore, everyone says its you, not the dog, so you're now stuck with a dog that doesn't like you.


I wish for companionship.

Granted.  You are now 0.00005% more likely to find your ideal companion than you were before.  Best of luck, though!   

I wish I had the authority and public blessing to re-draw and name all of the constellations.