Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, you now have 10000 clones running around and destroying everything, for which you are blamed.

I wish my computer wouldn't crash so much.

In response to previous corruption:  They may blame me, but would they know which one of the 10,001 me's is the real me? 

Granted, though by fixing the crashes, your computer now runs very slowly in general.

I wish I could breathe underwater for hours.

Granted. In fact you learn how to breathe under water indefinitely (or for as long as you can actually manage to do so before getting tired). The trick you learn is to get a plastic bag, fill it with water, and hold it above your head.
And great job on corrupting my last wish. Didn't see that one coming.


I wish the next post is unreadable.

Granted:

It is written in the long lost language of the Gript'kliptitk'g'laguplllishh of Gishu'lu'lop'hakuu 4 in the Gupa'k Ukih'sik'l Galaxy of the 34th dimension.

I wish I didn't have this cold.

Granted. Instead of having this cold, you have that cold. (points to another person having a slight variation (its worse than yours actually) of the cold.
Little advice, get chicken soup. Works wonders against common cold


I wish I could play music to other people by just creating it by using my mind. So I create this melodystructure in my mind and everyone hears through speakers what I hear in my head.

Granted, though you can't stop it from happening, and as a result, all speakers everywhere just play what's in your head, rather than the music people wanted to hear.  Also, beyond your control, the music quality is terrible.  You are dual-ly crowned as the most musically destructive person in history, as well as the most annoying person in history!

I'd like to add that I've had this idea before as well.  Small world, ain't it?

I wish I could understand, speak, and write every language, from every human society, from all time periods, EVER.

(And I don't want to see a corruption saying I can't pack that much knowledge in my head.  Try something else!)

Granted, but you have only one day to use your Extra-gifted brain. Then it'll burst.

I wish I could repair everything by myself. (EVERYTHING!)


[mod]This is too much similar to what Fubaka asked not to use. I know a simple way to corrupt this so I'm going to disqualify this post. C'mon, do your best![/mod]

Granted. You can understand, speak and write every language in the world but just barely (that includes you native language) making it impossible to communicate.

I wish I could invent, patent, mass produce and sell anti-gravity devices.

Congratulations, but no one buys them so you go out of business and fall into debt.

I wish I were home.

Granted. Home is where the heart is, your heart is in your chest your body implodes into your chest.

I wish for some chocolate mocha ice cream icecream.

Granted. It is shot out of a cannon landing on you, and now icecream is all over you.

I wish we had invented the warp drive.

Granted: we did!  And you were the first to test it!  Unfortunately, the test didn't work out so well, and you are now lost somewhere on a vicious, distant planet, or maybe in an abandoned cruise spaceship, or something like that.

I just wish I had one, single, Reese's cup, lying upon the palm of my hand.

Granted. It literally weighs a tonne and crushes your hand.

I wish I could fly.

Granted. You're now a one-day fly.

I wish I could just plug in a cable into myself to install knowledge.  For example how to work with linux.