Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but due to being so old, it's out of order.  Tough luck.  (*pulls out clairenet and plays taps on it*)

I wish that fantasy creatures existed in real life.  (What can I say?  Although I'm a stern cynic, that doesn't mean I can't wish for a few ideals.)

Granted. They can fly, see you and get so scared they fly away, and you never see them again.

I wish the clouds in the sky would disappear if if I stare at them for 10 seconds or more, so I can stop raining if I want to.

Granted, but the clouds never come back, causing an endless drought.

I wish I could beat WaDF. (Darn you, Crystal Path!)

Ouch!

Granted. You grab a stick ant beat your computer which in terms beats WaDF. Your computer gets beyond repair in the process.

I wish I could see infra-red with my own eyes.

Granted, unluckily, you can only see in infra-red, so you go insane and end up in a crazy house for the rest of your life 

I wish my lazy eye was normal

Granted. Your lazy eye is normal. In exchange, your normal eye is now a lazy eye.

I wish I could see the future.

Granted, but due to the scope of the zoom on the future sight, you see the end of it all.  The end of the multiverse as everyone knows it.  (Fairly dark if I say so myself.)

I wish I didn't have such a ditzy older brother.

Granted, you now have two ditzy older brothers.

I wish I could craft the Machina in TF2 without having to sacrifice tons of loot. (SRSLY, Gaben?)

Granted, you now have two ditzy older brothers.

I wish I could craft the Machina in TF2 without having to sacrifice tons of loot. (SRSLY, Gaben?)

Granted but now you must sacrifice ALL of your loot ...

I wish for cake

Granted, but the cake is only a hologram.  Ouch.

I wish to be the most famous person in the WORLD!  (What?)

Granted... Say goodbye to privacy...
I wish for 1000000 of everything in the world.

Granted. There are also 1000000 of you's, and they get so greedy they kill you.

I wish I had a real airplane that I could fly.

Granted, but you don't get flying instructions...  CRASH!

I wish for some syringes of polymorph!

Granted, unluckily they are tainted and release a toxic gas...

I wish I was an administrator for this website

Granted. You were an administrator for 0.00000001 second (which was granted to you by mistake)

I wish I could protect the forum in such way that spambots can't register/post anymore.