Ok this is hard, because it's fantastically awful but doesn't include anything we asked for. To be fair to everyone I am just going to list the scores in order of my rating scheme, and try to give you as much as possible
1. shifts: 1 - ok you had one shift, but it was pointless
2. umbrella: 0 - not used
3. enemy/traps: 0 - none
4. advertisements: 1 (i think you tipped your hat to the prosthetics industry)
5. banner image at the end: 0 It's the opposite of what i asked for.
6. humorous storyline or occasional dialogue: 2.5 - the storyline really spoke to my left or right testicle, i can't figure out which. People really don't converse with my genitalia often enough. However the story was simplistic and a bit lacking in thought, i can't give you more than half
7. broken or buggy: 3.5 points - it was certainly buggy and awful, but, the gameplay was too linear, it lacked something
bonus points: ZERO, NO CUSTOM MUSIC
total: 8 points
i think dave's going to find it difficult to give any marks however, you've done none of the things he's asked for. you may need to rely on "communal love", which sounds gross