The Jokes topic

There are 10 types of people in the world who know binary: those who do, and those who don't.

How many elephants can you fit in a mini cooper?

Ieatatsonic, your jokes are awesome

(1)
A priest and a cop walk into a bar. 3 hours later they both leave in their cars. The cop sees the priest swerving, so pulls him over.
The priest says, "What's the problem? I've had nothing but water all night."
The cop says, "That's not true. I can smell the wine on your breath."
The priest says, "You've done it again, my Lord!"

(2)
A man walks into a bar.
BANG

Lol nice.


A guy jumps in the air, but he misses.

A guy jumps in the air, but he misses.

Lol nice.

Bad joke coming up:

Bad joke coming up:
What do you call a mod who lost a sense of honor?
An admin.

Actually it should be the other way around. that makes it both funny and possible

So it would become:

Q: What do you call an admin who lost his sense of honor?
A: A moderator.

Q: What do you call a moderator who lost his sense of dignity?
A: A normal member.

Q: What do you call a normal member who lost his sense of anything?
A: Banned.

A stutterer walks into a restaurant and requests the attention of the waiter:
- E-ex-c-cuse m-me
- G-good m-morn-ning. Wha-what will it b-be?
- J-just a s-soup p-please.
- V-very well, s-sir.
Soon after, the man notices that same waiter attending another customer:
- Good morning, sir. What will it be?
- A steak with fries, if you please.
- Very well, sir.
He then calls the waiter and asks:
- H-hold on... We-were you m-making f-fun of m-me?
- N-no, I was m-making f-fun of that oth-ther g-guy.

@minmay. PLEASE post another character's worth.
@LPChip. Your right, didn't think of that.
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Q: What does a diamond become when put it water?

A man walked into a bar and said, "ow."

A man walked into a bar and said, "ow."

A bar walked into a man and said, ''ow.''

A fish in a river swam into a wall and said "dam".

All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said ' Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

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Q. How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Actually StraightFlame, the answer to the question in your spoiler is wrong.

I'll repost your joke to make it more funny.

Q. How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?

You might be on the wrong track, but

Shooting fish in a barrel is

How many Steampunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: two. One to change it, and the other to attach useless gears to it.

A man walks into a bar. It mauls him. (He was a southerner)