"Cool. How's it work?"
What do you call someone who hangs out in the mailbox with a large price written on him?
A woman enters a hospital with an appointment to see her doctor. After a few minutes of waiting, her doctor calls her in. She explains to the doctor that she's had the hiccups for a little over a month. The doctor proceeds to check her heartbeat, her breathing, and her reflexes. The doctor, after performing these tests, leaves the room.
After being gone for five minutes he enters the room with a clipboard in hand. He looks at the paper attached, looks at the woman, then says, "You're pregnant."
The woman, who had never wanted children, jumps up and runs out of the hospital, screaming.
A nearby doctor asked him what had happened. Once he tells him, the second doctor says, "You can't make that conclusion with a few simple tests."
The first doctor smiles. "I know. But it got rid of her hiccups."
Robert and Sam Frank are a couple whose dream is to open a disco club. Finally, one day, they buy an old restaurant and begin renovating it. After a few years, it's finally open, and Sam, in a euphoric frenzy, drives immediately to the disco club to open it.
Robert, however, takes the other car because he has to do some errands first. On the way to his first stop, Robert gets into a car crash and gets killed. On his way up to Heaven, he gets his halo, winds and harp. Once at Heaven's gate, he tells St. Peter, "I can't die now! I just opened a disco club with my wife. Can you please give me more time?"
St. Peter considers this. "I guess it's okay. I'll give you until midnight. Once midnight comes, stairs will appear. If you don't climb the stairs, then the floor will open up and you will be dumped straight into Hell."
"Robert thanks St. Peter and flies back down to earth. Once he finds the disco club, he lands at the front door, startling a few people. He still had his halo, wings, and harp. Everyone thinks it's a costume and starts praising it for how realistic it is. Robert tells them nothing.
Robert spends the rest of the night befriending co-workers, talking to old high-school friends, and having a generally great time. Eventually, Robert forgets he died.
When midnight comes around, Robert remembers what had happened, drops his drink, and rushes up the stairs.
When Robert reaches Heaven, St. Peter frowns. "Where's your harp?"
Robert realizes he has his halo and wings, but he forgot his harp. "I left my harp in Sam Frank's disco."Also, LPChip, if we put a disclaimer, can we put "yo mama" jokes and blond jokes?