The Jokes topic

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Offline ieatatsonic

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #45 on: December 01, 2010, 23:47:59 »
There are 10 types of people in the world who know binary: those who do, and those who don't.

How many elephants can you fit in a mini cooper?
Spoiler: (click to show/hide)
YOU HAVE THE INSANITY OF A MANATEE!

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Offline TrogdorRunner

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #46 on: January 04, 2011, 23:19:48 »
Ieatatsonic, your jokes are awesome :D

(1)
A priest and a cop walk into a bar. 3 hours later they both leave in their cars. The cop sees the priest swerving, so pulls him over.
The priest says, "What's the problem? I've had nothing but water all night."
The cop says, "That's not true. I can smell the wine on your breath."
The priest says, "You've done it again, my Lord!"

(2)
A man walks into a bar.
BANG
I have no sig. Oh wait. Never mind.

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Offline LPChip

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #47 on: January 05, 2011, 00:49:10 »
Lol nice.


A guy jumps in the air, but he misses.
on the left, above my avatar.

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Offline jetio4

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #48 on: January 06, 2011, 19:31:29 »
A guy jumps in the air, but he misses.
Lol nice.

Bad joke coming up:
Spoiler: (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 07, 2011, 19:45:46 by jetio4 »
Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City, I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do~<br /><br />Time Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true~

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Offline LPChip

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #49 on: January 06, 2011, 20:44:10 »
Bad joke coming up:
What do you call a mod who lost a sense of honor?
An admin.

Actually it should be the other way around. that makes it both funny and possible X)

So it would become:

Q: What do you call an admin who lost his sense of honor?
A: A moderator.

Q: What do you call a moderator who lost his sense of dignity?
A: A normal member.

Q: What do you call a normal member who lost his sense of anything?
A: Banned.

:nuts:
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Offline PONTO

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #50 on: January 06, 2011, 22:08:29 »
A stutterer walks into a restaurant and requests the attention of the waiter:
- E-ex-c-cuse m-me
- G-good m-morn-ning. Wha-what will it b-be?
- J-just a s-soup p-please.
- V-very well, s-sir.
Soon after, the man notices that same waiter attending another customer:
- Good morning, sir. What will it be?
- A steak with fries, if you please.
- Very well, sir.
He then calls the waiter and asks:
- H-hold on... We-were you m-making f-fun of m-me?
- N-no, I was m-making f-fun of that oth-ther g-guy.

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Offline jetio4

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #51 on: January 06, 2011, 23:45:37 »
@minmay. PLEASE post another character's worth.
@LPChip. Your right, didn't think of that.
---
Q: What does a diamond become when put it water?
Spoiler: (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 07, 2011, 19:47:40 by jetio4 »
Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City, I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do~<br /><br />Time Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true~

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Offline TheDarkOne

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #52 on: January 18, 2011, 21:11:28 »
A man walked into a bar and said, "ow."

Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #53 on: January 21, 2011, 08:00:13 »
A man walked into a bar and said, "ow."
A bar walked into a man and said, ''ow.''

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Offline jetio4

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #54 on: January 21, 2011, 14:48:28 »
A fish in a river swam into a wall and said "dam".
Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City, I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do~<br /><br />Time Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true~

Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #55 on: January 30, 2011, 11:38:49 »
All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said ' Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"



Q. How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler: (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 30, 2011, 11:45:09 by StraightFlame »

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Offline LPChip

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #56 on: January 30, 2011, 12:42:22 »
Actually StraightFlame, the answer to the question in your spoiler is wrong. :)

I'll repost your joke to make it more funny. :)

Q. How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler: (click to show/hide)
on the left, above my avatar.

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"If I tried to kill you, I'd end up with a big fat hole through my laptop." - Chironex

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Offline jetio4

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #57 on: January 31, 2011, 15:15:46 »
You might be on the wrong track, but
Spoiler: A (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: B (click to show/hide)

Shooting fish in a barrel is
Spoiler: A (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: B (click to show/hide)
Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City, I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do~<br /><br />Time Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true~

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Offline TheDarkOne

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #58 on: February 01, 2011, 02:25:01 »
How many Steampunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: two. One to change it, and the other to attach useless gears to it.

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Offline Gorfinhofin

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Re: The Jokes topic
« Reply #59 on: February 13, 2011, 08:09:56 »
A man walks into a bar. It mauls him. (He was a southerner)


When something smells, it's usually my monitor.