The Game of Destruction

Let's have a little fun by igniting the match with a torch!
(Now THAT is what I call a match.  For the bold impaired again, torch be the item.)

Well, then, I ignite the wooden handle of the torch with a flamethrower!   

I shoot the flamethower's fuel tank with a taser causing the tank to explode. (The current from the taser should be able to make a spark hot enough to ignite the flamethrower's fuel)

I blow up the taser with a creeper.

I shoot the creeper with a shotgun.

I break the shotgun with my knee.

You're just asking for the item to be an arrow.

(Arrow be the item now, for the not-really-obviously-participating impaired.)

I shoot the arrow with my Bow into the far off distance.

I use a pair of scissors to cut the line in the bow, rendering it useless.

I put the scissors in a power socket, melting the metal of the scissors!

I roll up in a Panzer VI (Tiger) and shoot the power socket with an 88 mm round.

I smash your weapon in pices with help of an army of drunk Kozacs.

I run over the Kozacs with a bus.

I use a nuclear bomb to obliterate your bus.

I use a rock to smash the launch control buttons of the nuclear bomb.