My bad. That end section was made in about 6 hours, so I didn't have time to properly polish. I originally intended to set up the bonus ending differently as you suggest, but I didn't have the time.
(Doing it simply your way would have been a discontinuity - you could go from the dawn-time main ending to the night-time bonus ending, which is why I left it was is. I didn't have the time to set up a section for the bonus end, so it's rather awkwardly tacked on. And the ghosts with empty text boxes should probably have not had the boxes or have not been there at all - another oversight in my hurry. Sorry.)
Normally I'd play through a finished levels several times looking for things like what you've pointed out before even considering release, but I just didn't have time with this; we were a long way past the original deadline of the competition by then.