I try to check my email using the elevator console:
"Welcome to your Yahoo! email address, Yukabacera! You have 85 new messages!"
I obviously can't believe this, so I fiddle a bit more with the console:
"Welcome to 4chan!"
*fiddle*
"Welcome to the Pentagon. Press 1 to access the files, press 2 to access the military cache, press 3 to access the senate cache, press 4 to close connection."
Seeing that this is getting me nowhere, I turn the music back on.
"Now playing Segment 3 of The Greatest Elevator Music of ME Elevators."
=|=