Corrupt-a-Wish

I don't know what it is but I still good corruption.

Granted. You meet a pantheon of robot gods. The robot gods, confused and disgusted by your fleshy body pull all the asteroids and dwarf planets from the asteroid belt too earth. In desperation  humanity builds a fleet of triangular ships to deflect and destroy the asteroids but it wasn't enough. All but one of the ships perish and the earth's surface is reduced to molten rock by thousands of huge impacts.

I wish I could take revenge on the robot gods fro the destruction of humanity.

Granted. You put itching powder in their pants.

I wish i owned one of those triangular ships.

Granted. You get a scale model of one of those triangular ships. The scale is 1:100000 so its only a few centimeters big. Since its this portable you carry it with you wherever you go. At least, you did until you lost it the first day you carried it.

I wish for a suit that once you wear it, you become invisible. Once you take off the suit, both you and the suit become visible.

Granted. When you went outside wearing your suit, some car  crashed you, because you didn't notice it's coming and driver couldn't see you, so you were seriously injured and had fallen unconscious. Because you were still having your invisible suit on, no one could see that you were injured and you died without help.

I wish for people using  ,  ,  ,  ,  , and   more often.

Granted; posts are now entirely those pics, and therefore can't be understood anymore.

I wish  .

Granted.    .
Translation: The universe implodes because of what you said.

I wish every one in the world would give me a dollar.

Congratulations, you have 7 billion Zimbabwean Dollars. Turns out that's not that much at all.

I wish my keys would be easier to clean.

Granted. It is easier only a little, so it's still very unpleasant thing to do, so your keys remains dirty.
I wish there was a sequel of movie Master and commander as good as the first one.

Granted. A squeal to Master and commander is made, it is not only as good as the first, it is actually better but it's cursed and anyone who watches it goes insane.

I wish I could prove to the world that I'm not crazy, that there are shape shifting, vampiric, humanoid aliens and they secretly rule the world!

Granted. It turns out that everyone in the world, but you is actually such shapeshifting, vampiric, humanoid alien and since they cannot lie to you anymore, you learn that you are the last of the species human. They fear that you'll seek revenge now, and prevent that by locking you away in a dungeon deep, deep below the ground.


I wish a UFO would land near me, invite me in, and take me for a flight around the world, to return me to home later unharmed.

Granted. When you are in the universe, aliens turn UFO to their planet and force you to live with them forever (and that means they start making experiments with you).

I wish my family could live forever.

Granted. But they won't stop ageing...
I wish to be forever young.

Granted. You're now the equivalent of a 3 month old baby, and you'll remain that way. Due to it, you're being over-cared for, which basically means, you have no life.

I wish steam would allow me to download this 98mb portal2 map in one go and not stop after a few mb's so I have to manually resume it...

Granted. It will continuously download at 1 bit per second for 26 years.

I wish the weekend had three days instead of two.

Granted. Monday is now part of the weekend, but soon the "threekend" throws the economy way out of wack, plus it obsoletes a ton of Garfield strips.

I wish some dudes would like to talk about Robert Kanigher comics with me.