Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but you don't have a crowbar.

I wish you could report Youtube users for trolling.

Granted. Your message has been sent to a huge ugly green troll who rapes you and then eats you.

I wish to move to England.

Granted. You are now Half Life's game character. As such, whoever presses the buttons make you move. So you can only experience what other people tell you to do. If someone decides to not play Half Life, you are doing nothing. And of course, you die time after time.

Granted. You instantly teleport to England. Unfortunately, only you moved. Not your stuff, not your family, and neither your clothes.

I wish to get a star.

Granted. But some other forum administrators begin to be jealous about your stars and won't like you any more.
I wish I could use that leaves eating ape from Knytt as my avatar (charity236 uses it already).

Granted, but that ape has its own will and doesn't like to be in two places at the same time so it disappears from your avatar and you end up with blank avatar which cannot be changed...how odd.

I wish I could meet Nifflas in real life.

Granted. Both of you are having a very bad day and as a result Nifflas doesn't like you.

They called me mad; hey said I was insane! I'll show them! I wish I could make my monsters real! Mu, ha, h,ha, ha, ha, ha. Ah ha, ha, ha, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. *throws up* Oh damn. Could someone help me put my guts back in?

Granted. You know have 500 tons of clay in your garden to make real monsters and the basic know-how of making clayfigures. You're not skilled, but hey, it are real monsters, and monsters don't look good anyway...

I wish for I'd never get tired anymore, and thus don't require sleep.

Granted, but the other things sleep are necessary for (healing and repair of your heart and blood vessels, maintaining a healthy balance of the hormones that make you feel hungry or full, the way in which your immune system responds, etc.) still require you to sleep. Since you don't sleep anymore, you  eventually die of heart/kidney disease or high blood pressure.

I wish the video tutorials for installing Minecraft mods actually helped.

Granted. The tutorials help you destroy the entire game and your computer as bonus.

I wish to be a superhero.

Granted. You are now have the power of flight super strength, nigh invulnerability and you use them to fight crime. Over time the realities and horrors of real life crimes eventually gets to you. Dealing with murders, rapists, kidnappers, child molesters, ets causes you to snap and start killing people who committed even the smallest of crimes. The people, police and government turn against you. Special squads of supper hero hunters come after, capture you, depower and arrest you. You are convicted of multiple murders and spend the rest of your life in jail.

I wish people would stop forgetting to post their own wishes.

... Dammit.

Granted. People now never forget to post wishes and they post wished so specific they are impossible to corrupt.


I wish for a pet monster.

Granted. You once forgot to feed it and it runs away and eats innocent people.
I wish for not having to leave library and go to lecture right now, because I am having fun with Knytt.

Granted. You'll never leave the library. ever.

I wish I could complete the projects I start.

Granted, but you forgot where they are if they're needed.

I wish I could draw animals better.