Capture the Orb

I'm not going to be bothered to read the last few pages to find that post. Besides, it's SingingSurger's game. Not yours.

I get the Magrathean to create a super huge planet between the earth and mars. It is just so big that it rips off parts of the two planets closest to it, which happens to be where StraightFlame and Firecat are. The orb follows. I then condense the planet into a super-heavy speck that turns into a black hole. To orb goes into the black hole and through some miracle ends up in a wormhole headed straight to my house.

EDIT: ..in some distant galaxy.

I punch SF for making up rules, then I nuke your house and collect the orb from its ashes. Then, using my super special awsome time machine, travel back to before any of you were born.

A dinosaur kills you, eats the orb (which is invulnerable to everything, apparently), and, one million years later, I dig up the dinosaur and take it. |D

A dinosaur kills you, eats the orb (which is invulnerable to everything, apparently), and, one million years later, I dig up the dinosaur and take it. |D

I simply let Mochaalatte die in the 1800s. The orb then sits there until the present. I go to London and pick it up.

Idea stealer!

I join your dinosaur digging site and report you to the DDA (Dinosaur something something) for stealing ancient relics. The orb is placed in a museum, which I then proceed to rob. I stuff the orb in a giant needle, shink the needle down to regular size, and throw it in a haystack.

I find the needle, but it suddenly got inside a random machine that takes away all pollution and places it inside another orb called the PollutionMarble. I steal the marble. Or atleast i try to, since it weighs a million kilograms. The evil scientist who created it, said that there is a shop that sells orbs on a platform behind the moon. I go there, and take the PollutionMarble with me. The shop is, however, closed since the owner died. An alien with an orb attached to his head walks by. I take it back to wherever this all happens. However, i lost the marble, and it got back to its normal form. And since everything in it is multiplied a thousand times, it is about to destroy Earth.

If you go along with the referrence you get TWO 's.

Hint: The orb is bigger than the moon and about to fall exactly on the church of the next poster's hometown.

One more thing: However it does in the thingy i referred to, the alien does NOT qualify as the orb. And i did NOT make up ANY rules!

Edit: This may be over the 130th try to nab the orb!
Another edit: No, wait, the orb is just two-and-a-half miles big. And still in the needle. And it weighs 350000000000 kilograms

The Pollution Marble is from a museum in Minnesota. Anyway...

I wake up from a deep sleep, finding the orb gone. I go in a rage and claws burst from my palms (still a god) I find Straight Flame and shove a spike through his head. I lift him up and the weight of the orb pulls on his body, decapitating him. I grab the orb a
and run off, freezing time myself. I roar in triumph and go back to human form for a day.

A dinosaur kills you, eats the orb (which is invulnerable to everything, apparently), and, one million years later, I dig up the dinosaur and take it. |D

Well, I never said it was the DINOSAUR age, did I? So, to get revenge on StraightFlame for making up a rule, I still have the orb. 

I be simplistic.
First, I punch Kaizoman and take the orb.

Next, I rip out StraightFlame's vocal cords to prevent him from denying Kaizo's post. Finally, I attach an unable-to-be-defused bomb to the orb, and levitate it next to me.

WATCHA GONNA DO NOW, NINJAS?

I say my name is Le-a and the dash don't be silent. Everyone dies from the lack of intellect in mah boenz.

Ie cri, butt thee oarb comfertz meh. Ie garb thee oarbz aend wun.

Well, I come back to life (whatever god is up there tells me I'm not supposed to die yet), and simply wait for Mochaalatte's bomb to go off. The bomb kills you, and I steal the new orb.

I steal another bomb from Mochaalatte and attach it to your back. You simply wait for the bomb to go off. The bomb kills you, and you steal the new orb. Oh, wait your dead. So I steal the new orb and put a  emoticon suit on it. Then, I make you forget which emote it is and place it with the rest of the emoticons.

First, I have purple pineapple put in jail for theft.

Then, I throw a bomb (what am I, a pyromaniac?) into the pile of  emoticons, leaving the indestructible orb sitting there. Then, I place two cards face down and end my turn.

I eat the cards. And the orb. I then fall off into the sunset.

Kaizoman is more than likely going to say "Some god says I can't die yet." so I just monitor his body, and the orb has become attached to me, so the orb splits in two "Two orbs? What a twist!" and one comes to me. I freak because I know that the game will become spammy from two orbs, so I decide to review the next posts and destroy the orb if it goes out of whack. I then sit on the charred remains of Kaizo's head. I have bad gas.

and the orb has become attached to me

That's not even fair. -_-
Person A: I get the orb and perform such-and-such to make it nearly impossible to get.
SingingSurger: Ah, but I had the orb the whole time.

I continue to fall into the sunset with my orb.